Diaries

Packing Belle’s bag

Getting to the end of this pregnancy is a funny old mix of emotions. Whilst I am beyond excited to have nugget safely in my arms, getting closer to the end means the end of the three of us. This year and a half that we have had with just Belle has been so precious. I LOVE our little family of three and the special relationship that we all have but I am excited to see what life is like as a four. I didn’t know how much of a luxury all that 1:1 time with her has been and it is strange to think that I won’t ever have that with baby number two.

This time around requires so much more preparation for labour. I remember with Belle that ‘getting ready’ involved booking my waxing and hair appointments, making up the cot with cute sheets and blankets and packing a little hospital bag. This time I am packing my hospital bag, the new baby’s bag, Jono’s stuff for the hospital, Belle’s overnight bag and the double stroller, not to mention planning how we get to the hospital with a toddler who is sick every time we travel in a car unless we give her sickness medication an hour before we leave. Needless to say, I have not booked a hair appointment this time.

Then the side effect of not living near family is needing to have childcare plans A, B, C and D for Belle for if I have a nighttime, weekday, weekend labour etc. We have a couple of gaps, and we are just hoping that it doesn’t happen then! I have been stockpiling enough nappies and wipes for the two of them, freezing family meals, staying on top of the insane amount of laundry that the three of us manage to accumulate, keeping the place clean(ish) and trying to lap up the time that I have left with just Belle. I am SO tired and the baby isn’t even here yet!

But it was the other night, whilst packing up her overnight bag, that it hit me that this season of her being my baby is ending. I have not spent a day away from her, never mind a whole night and whilst I know that she will be more than fine with our friends, I was really emotional packing her little bag.

I know that it is just a couple of days and that she probably won’t even ask for us or want to come home when she is with her little friends but it really will break my heart having to send her away to have this baby. I know that sounds ridiculous and maybe it is the raging hormones making me extra sensitive but packing her precious bunny broke my Mama heart.

I am trying to have a good attitude towards these last few weeks of pregnancy but it has been hard. So much harder than my pregnancy with Belle. I am exhausted, emotional, achy and DONE. Back-to-back pregnancy, breastfeeding, then pregnancy is no joke ladies but at least this time I know how it feels to finally hold that little one in my arms and know that it was all worth it. In the meantime I am going to try and lap up slow afternoons snuggled with B, playing toys and reading endless stories uninterrupted and make the most of it being just ‘us’ before everything changes.

This morning I hit 37 weeks and I am officially ‘full term‘. After all of the preterm labour scares that we have had this time around, getting to the 37 week mark is such a huge blessing. I have been having cramps, contractions, pressure and back pain for a couple of months now and it is the biggest answer to prayer that this little one didn’t arrive too early. Time and time again, I’ve been hooked up to monitors, registering contractions, and then thankfully each time they just stopped. We had a growth scan the other day and they think that nugget is weighing around 6lbs now. Everything looks great and we are on track for a healthy baby.

After going to 42 weeks and needing an induction to evict Belle I am still a little nervous that this one could do the same. If I need an induction then I will not qualify to use the birth centre that we have found and so everything is crossed that I go into labour on my own before then.

Roll on the pineapple overdose, raw chilli and long walks (not that any of that worked the first time!).

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