An average marriage is relatively doable so long as you married a reasonably good man, you are both committed to not getting divorced and you have a reasonably uneventful life. I really hope you don’t hit hard times because they will really rock an ‘average’ marriage. Average marriages also have a 50% chance of divorce so be careful. I hear it is a little better in the church but not by much. I don’t like those odds.

A GREAT marriage however is a whole lot of work. That’s what we all want right?. The good news is despite our rampant divorce culture great, long, successful marriages are possible. They take hard work, continual learning, ongoing growing and fierce protection. They are full of painfully humble moments, honesty, apology, service and prayer. They often have battle scars from riding out rough storms and yet they are a powerful picture of beauty and covenant love. 

Marriage, and as a result my husband, is something that I hope to be a student of all of my days. Our marriage is the bedrock of everything that we do and so you will usually find a marriage book or podcast playing as I fold laundry or clean toilets. As each season of life evolves, so does our marriage so we are forever learning. I know that our five children could be at best valid excuse for us to press pause on our marriage and at worst a daily distraction from our commitment to one another but we are convinced that one of the greatest gifts that we can give our children is an example of a healthy, romantic, thriving marriage.

I thought that we would take the church marriage preparation course and then be done. Oh how wrong I was. It wasn’t long before we were trying to navigate how to be newly weds? How to manage pregnancy, postpartum and the baby years? How to parent toddlers? tweens? teens? and beyond. God willing the learning is never going to stop. I pray that I one day get to learn how to be a good ‘elderly lady wife’ to my distinguished wrinkly old husband as we Great Grandparent goodness knows how many great grandchildren together. That will be the day!

Being out and about with five young children will get people talking. At least once a week someone will ask me “How do you do it?”, usually right after they have counted up all the little ones surrounding me in the grocery store with a baffled look on their faces. My answer … “I have the best husband”. 

Come along with me and I learn and reflect on all things marriage and what it means to become a God fearing wife – am still figuring this out.

“What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” – Mark 10 v 9