I believe that the best gift that I can give to my children is a foundation of faith, scripture and a childhood of training in the instruction of the Lord.

Cultivating faith in our children is hands down the biggest driver behind our decision to home educate and so it seems like a good place to start this series. Buckle up, let’s go…

I have one overriding hope for my children… the thing that truly matters to me above all else… is that they one day understand that they are a sinner and that there is absolutely nothing that they can do about it.

I want them to see and understand that they are totally and utterly, reliant and dependant on what Jesus did for them, and out of that, for them to commit the rest of their lives to serving Him.

I can imagine nothing more incredible as a mother than one day getting to watch each one of my children confess with their mouth and believe in their heart that Jesus is Lord, that he came and died for them and that because of that, they can have eternal life with Him.

I get emotional just thinking about it. That is what parenting is all about for me …. right there. It is the vision behind every single decision that we make for our children. And it is our main motivation behind our home school.

Cultivating Faith… after school, weekends and holidays?

Can we not just teach ‘faith’ after school and on the weekends? Sure.

But I think we would miss out on a whole world of opportunity with our children for training and teaching. Home Education allows us to design the whole rhythm of our week, month and year around our faith.

Firstly, we get to use our kid’s ‘best’ hours and not just the dregs when they come home at 3pm tired and worn out, which many parents tell me is the case with their kids who are in school. We can have these big conversations throughout the day, when they come up.

Our Daily Sandwich

Practically speaking, Home Education gives us the time to prioritise the stuff that we feel is most important, like reading the Bible with the kids each day. Most adult Christians know how hard it is to consistently read the Bible each day, never mind also reading and teaching it to our children! I can only imagine that this would be even harder if we were racing against the clock each morning to get to school on time.

We life in California but J works East Coast hours so he is generally not around in the mornings. He gets up super early, works out and then is in his office working by 6:30am. Usually, the kids wake up around 6:30am and I make them a hot breakfast and use that time to read the bible with them, or talk about what I have read in my study that morning. Then because we are not rushing to get dressed and out of the door, I can take that slow time to get into a devotional study with them and work on a memory verse for the week with them. Right now we are really enjoying *this devotional*.

Before bed, either J or I will also read a chapter of a Children’s Bible in place of a storybook. This kid’s Bible is my favourite ever. I am yet to read it and not either learn something, or tear up myself. It is brilliant. Belle and Freddie just finished up a term in a Christian Drama class and they performed a Musical based on that Bible and it was so beautiful. I love when the last thing that they hear before bed is the Bible, a scripture song and a prayer.

Both of those daily routines are totally possible with your kids in school and many families manage it really well. However, there is something amazing that Home Education offers that isn’t really obvious until you really study it. The Bible in the morning and before bed are the bread of our days, but it is the meat in the middle where a lot of the big stuff happens.

Having them home gives me the absolute gift of being able to train their character using our faith as our core through the day. Number one, their full character is on display to me all day long, which can be super hard as a parent. But the way that I see it is that I get this special insight into their hearts and who they are becoming. It gives me the opportunity to train and discipline each child with a focus on their character and how that is developing.

When they lie I don’t just confront the issue of lying but we go to scripture and I show them where and why God says that lying is wrong. I get to see their hearts up close and address issues in real time as the come up. I don’t think it is at all reasonable to expect any school or teacher, even a Christian school to do this for your child as well as you can. Let me tell you, it is a huge task with 4, never-mind 34. No-one will ever be as invested in your child as you are, and no-one knows them better than you do. This is such a gift of Home Education is the ability to train and shape their character, up close, throughout the day.

I cannot recommend this resource enough to help with this. I have this printed and laminated in a couple of spots in the house and I think I refer to it most days. I actually even annotate, with a whiteboard pen, certain areas that multiple kids are struggling in so that J can see where we need to focus in on e.g. whining.

Their character is everything. Academic achievement is important as you most often need it to get you in the room, but character is what will carry you. I really do believe that.

What does the Bible say about Home Education?

Nothing. Nothing explicitly anyway.

Do I think that all Christians should home educate? No. However, I do think that many families (especially in the UK) miss out on the opportunity to even consider it. Granted, over here is it far easier. In the area we live there are literally hundreds of home educating families, groups, conventions, stores and even churches that will support you through cooperatives.

That said my friend (and wonderful mentor) homeschooled her (now grown) children in the UK and where there wasn’t support, she took it upon herself to create community and groups. It meant her putting in the extra work and arranging it all but she did it because she was so committed to the vision that she had for her children. All that to say, it is totally possible.

Hey, I have had that many friends from the UK reach out about home education that if I was to connect you all you would have you first group!

Whilst you are not going to find an explicit command to homeschool in the bible, there are a few scriptures that have formed a huge part of our decision, not because they are explicit but that in considering the application of the principles, home education felt for us like the best path to take – (Deuteronomy 6:7, Proverbs 22:6, 2 Timothy 3:15).

Sheltering My Children?

Am I Sheltering my children? Maybe, but I don’t think so. Limiting and where possible totally avoiding negative or even damaging influences? Absolutely.

Influence is a real thing. We are all influenced all the time, even as adults, but especially as children. When we watch a movie listen to music, read the news or hang out with friends. When we walk into a store we are even influenced by the positioning of products on the shelves!

When your child goes to school they are being influenced, by the school, their peers, their teachers and ultimately the agendas being pushed through the curriculum being taught. Is that always a bad thing? No! Do I think that all public school teachers are malicious players seeking to corrupt my children? Absolutely not. My best friend (A.K.A my sister) is a public school teacher, along with many of my friends. I even worked in public schools when I was considering teaching as a career path myself before having Belle.

But having a lot of teacher friends in my life also confirms what I suspected, which is that they have very little control over what they are actually teaching.

I meet many Christian parents who are seeking to keep certain topics away from their children for as long as possible and I can understand why. Whilst I am not in a huge rush to expose my children to certain concepts, I do think that sheltering is a potentially dangerous path to take.

Children are made to be naturally curious and they will seek out answers to satisfy their questions. Their curiosity is not something to curb but a gift that will fuel their life long education. So I want to be extremely careful to not crush that curiosity in my children. That said, I want to help them explore their world, at age appropriate times (which varies from child to child), from a Christian perspective and give them a solid foundation on which to build their understanding of the world.

I do not have them locked up at home to avoid the teaching of controversial topics, but to be there, along side them, to navigate them together because the reality is that if you live in the world, then your children will be exposed to the world; the good and the bad.

When we happen to drive by a pro life protest and they see signs with photos of aborted babies then we answer their questions and talk about it. When they see two men kissing, we talk about it. When they ask about how babies are really made, then we talk about it. I am just so thankful that I get to be the one who walks them through all of that and not a teacher, who may or may not have an unbiblical world view, because that has influence over our children.

Just this week in the car one of my children asked which country has a ‘rainbow flag’ as we drove past one. I explained that it wasn’t a country but that it represented a group of people and their many, many questions ran into full discussion all the way home about what the ‘rainbow flag’ stands for. We discussed what it represents and why people celebrate it. We spoke about love and how we should treat people who are different to us. We spoke about how God owns the rainbow and that they can enjoy all things rainbow just because they are beautiful and colourful and fun! I told them how hurt some people have been by Christians being unkind and rude and how we are called to love people. I was able to anchor that whole conversation with what God has to say about marriage and gender. How He created men and women and what the bible says about that and marriage. It was amazing and in that moment I was so thankful that I was the first person to talk about this with them.

Releasing Control

I am very aware (and glad!) that I do not get to control any outcomes for my children. I can pray and pour into them and try my absolute best each day but ultimately I know that these children are not actually ours. They are God’s, entrusted to us, for a season, to shepherd them, love them and raise them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

There is no guaranteed formula for raising Christian kids to be Christian adults. Just ask the many Christian parents who raised their children the best that they knew how and have to live with the daily heartbreak of their children walking away from the faith. I pray that we never have to experience that, but we may.

The Bible does offer some helpful nuggets on this topic. This scripture from the book of Proverbs is a gem, however for years I misunderstood it as a… ‘if you do this you will get this’ kind of deal.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Proverbs is a poetic book of wonderful wisdom literature. It is not a spell book list of specific instructions and formulas. Clearly, if you want your children to know the Lord then it is prudent to raise them up in the instruction and teaching of the Lord, as it is likely that when they are older they will not depart from it.

But the hard reality to get comfortable with is that when it comes to raising children, A+B does not always equal C, however much we try.

W

My job is the model the Christian life in all of its grit and glory to my Children. They will hear J and I talk the talk but what I know will be far more impactful is them seeing us walk the walk. Our job is to teach and present the gospel to them and it is up to them what they do next.

However, giving our children a Christian education at home and around other Christian homeschooling families feels like a really good place to start with this.